P.S. I'm Fat

I think the bulk of these first posts are going to be really figuring out the reasons why I am here, as in here at this junction in my life. So please forgive all the internal thoughts rambling out over this blog, but a girls got to do, what a girls got to do. 

I think one of the MAJOR factors that has kept me from really doing something about my weight is that, I don't want to come to the realization that I'm fat. I know it's hard to believe that I don't know this already, but  it's the truth. I don't feel fat all the time, because most of the time I avoid mirrors and pictures and things that remind me of my actual size. I have a lot of friends and family that love me and find me funny and entertaining and I guess some where deep done I think to myself, fat people aren't funny and loved! How terrible is that? I also have an amazing man that chose me to love for the rest of his life and why on earth would he pick a fatty!? Denial much? I don't share my weight with him because it embarrasses me. But the truth of the matter is, telling him, or anyone for that matter, how much I weight couldn't possibly come as a shock, because note to self, I am fat. I am over weight. I am not healthy. It's no secret, it's not headline news. But I guess to me, it is. I try to cling to the mantra that I love the big me, the curvy me, the me just the way I am. I try to tell myself the trendy plus size clothes make my size okay, but for me, it's not. Now let me say this. I love, LOVE, curvy women. Always have, always will. And in my quest for health, I seek to find a happy place where working out and eating are things I do to nourish my body, and make me the best me I can be. I hope to God, that still includes my curves. I love my big booty and my hips and I hope they follow me everywhere I go, they are a part of me and I embrace and celebrate them and so does my husband. 

So to help me remember what it is I'm working towards, I printed a bunch of hot mama's and posted them up on the mirror in my bathroom. Surprisingly, Vance was totally cool with sexy, half-naked women pictures going up. :)

Unfortunately I have to report we did not make our early morning walk today, but I did track everything I ate in my new MyFitnessPal app on my iphone. Yes, I even tracked the cherry pie and ice cream. We had a great dinner of roast chicken, with roasted red potatoes and steamed broccoli. It was delicious, fulfilling and totally LOW sodium. Super score.

So what do you do to stay motivated???? Anyone else finding it hard to start their workout regime?

***In personal news, we are awaiting the arrival of our best friends first baby boy!!! She's been in the hospital since Tuesday night and little man is not budging. We're hoping the pitocin they are giving her this morning will jump start things. :)